Seeing The Gifts of Today

I've been in the artsy mood lately, and with all this free time enduced by  Covid and our State's Stay At Home Order, I'm not exhausted from a long day at work, so I'm more apt to entertain my artsy feels. I might as well stay positive and use this time to my advantage.

Breathe, and see the gifts of today!

Making time to enjoy your favorite activities is very important to your wellbeing, and often more easily said than done, but 'sometimes' is better than not at all, I say!

Keep Fighting

I know that life has a way of dragging you down with its many trials, detours, and negativity, especially if you already suffer from depression and anxiety; life can be pretty overwhelming.

So what do you do when you aren't suppose to live with one foot in the past, and one foot in the future, but living in the present is painful, exhausting, and miserable? Well, you dig deep within yourself, find your inner warrior, and fight.

You fight to force yourself out of bed and face the day.

You fight to hold on to some inkling of hope that this present hell will soon pass.

You fight to just get through your day minute by minute, one day at a time.

You fight to find something positive in your day, no matter how small.

You fight to find blessings to count and be grateful for.

You fight to take care of your responsibilities because shirking them will just cause you more problems.

You keep fighting today, tomorrow, the next day, and the next after that... you keep fighting for however long it takes.

KEEP FIGHTING AND NEVER GIVE UP.

You are here for a reason. The world needs you in it, because you have something people need. You might not see it or believe it, but its true. So stay strong, just be you, and keep fighting. Better days are coming!

Rise!

Are you tormented by your own inner self taunting bully? Rise up! Rise up and silence that self defeating voice! Counter that negativity with positive affirmations, and put your energy into it. Words have power. Breathe those positive affirmations into being!

Awaken (repost)

 Image by Artist Cameron Gray

The breeze wafting through the trees is no longer laughing;
    The warmth from the Sun is no longer giving; The dawn and dusk are no longer beckoning; The Moon and stars are no longer comforting.
Alas, Earth needs rejuvenation;
Her people need awakening.
Let us give comfort to Earth Mother
Let us be Her healers
Let us spread peace in the land
Let us send positive energies into the universe
Let us invoke love and goodness
Awaken!
It is time....
Let us be saviors of Earth
And
Of each other

**This poem was inspired by my cousin's husband, who has a special way of viewing the world around him. Thank you Bob Myers, for sharing your wisdom and inspiration.

Originally posted at my other blog: Keltik's Korner

Nourishing The Soul

It's been such a long time since I've written; life ran away with me, consuming my days. All my creative pursuits fell to the wayside. I rarely even draw and paint anymore, but I'm working on changing that!

I've recently started drawing, painting and writing again. My skills are rusty, but it feels so good. **My muse is smiling and nodding her head in agreement!** I'm going to try to nourish my creative side more often. Its so important that we feed our soul with activities that bring us joy.

Pondering On My Muse: What Inspires

It's been a very long time since I have posted here. All my focus was shifted to my Positive Warfare facebook page, because... well, mostly because my life has gotten chaotic since I began working two jobs over a year ago, and facebook is more convenient. I have found that I just don't have the energy or time for pursuits of writing and art work anymore. However, today I was prompted by The Narrator's Study to introduce my muse... specifically, to write about what inspires me.

Hmmm, well... I have never stopped to consider what exactly inspires me to write or paint. I know what inspires me to share at Positive Warfare: my struggle with depression and anxiety, but what is it that prompts my artistic side to write, draw, paint, etc?  That's a very good question.

Admittedly, sometimes it is to ward off depression; my artistic pursuits have always been great therapy. Rarely do I use art to express the darkness that haunts me. Isn't that usually what art therapy is... putting your troubles on paper or canvas and getting them out of your system? Well, I don't.

Instead of putting fears and icky darkness into my work, I opt to create positive, pretty things. My artistic pursuits enable me to focus on the positive and get my mind off the negative. However, I do admit, that on very rare occasions, I have in fact chosen to portray the dark ugliness in my work, but those gloomy pursuits are extremely scarce. I have found that the more positive endeavors have better results, all the way around.

Other times, it's a photo in a fashion magazine, a painting I see while I'm out and about, or browsing crafts on Pinterest, that trigger the need to do something creative; sometimes, it's sheer boredom and the desire to do something fun and whimsical; then there are the times I paint (or craft) with the sole intention of creating a gift for someone.

On rare occasions, a dream will provoke an artsy whim; however, those dream inspired notions usually end in frustration, because I can't seem to create what was in my dream;  the image is never as clear after I awake, turning my foggy memories of my dream into a mocking taunt; it's extremely maddening. I've learned to dismiss such trickery.

So, back to my Muse... I've come to the conclusion that my Muse is totally random.

 Inspired by my cat, Tigger

 Inspired by a fashion magazine photo

 Inspired by Autism Awareness

 Changing Woman, inspired by a Goddess Revolutionaries project

 Just for fun

One of my rare darker projects

Inspired by a Goddess Revolutionaries project

Inspired by a photo of a friend

So, now I ask YOU. What is your Muse? 

What inspires YOU?

Ready To Quit? ...DON'T!

Do you ever get frustrated when a plan or a goal doesn't fall into place as quickly as you would like? Yeah, me too, in fact I am currently experiencing frustration and discouragement, so today I would like to focus on trusting in the Universe, and patience.

When something we desire does not occur right away, it can be disheartening. It is much too easy to fall into the negative thinking trap. Thoughts like: it’s never going to happen … why even try … I’m not good enough … why bother … I might as well give up.

In these discouraging times, my belief that everything happens for a reason, seems to fall to the wayside and if I don’t find ways to remind myself that there is a purpose for everything, and it will all work out in the end, I usually do just give up.

Giving up isn't the answer though. I mean really, where does that get you? NOWHERE. If we give up, we are choosing to remain stuck. If you want change, you have to be willing to work for it; nothing truly worth anything is just handed to us, we have to be patient and work towards it.

Just because our desire doesn't come to pass when we want it to, it doesn't necessarily mean that it’s not going to happen; have faith and trust in the Universe, because… everything does happen for a reason, and when the timing is right, everything will fall into place; you have to be patient and trust the process. So with that in mind…

Visualize Your Intention,

Stay Positive and Keep Trying!

Days 11 - 16 Self-Compassion 101

Welcome to days 11-16 in my journey of Self Compassion 101 e-course by Becky at Raising Loveliness.

Day 11: Be Who You Are and Find Your Voice

"In what ways would your life change if you knew you were perfect as you are? What would you do differently? Where would you really shine?"

If I could totally accept myself as perfect just as I am, there would be no self judgments. I would be free, completely confident, and totally trusting of my intuition. If I was totally trusting of my intuition, I could find myself in a very different place right now because there would be no fear, just the instinct to act, and if combined with my stubbornness when I am determined to follow through with my gut, it could lead to my dreams of being a published author and professional artist come true. But alas, I do have fear, self-doubt, and I discourage easily when I have doubts about a project, so I give up and tell myself it isn't meant to be.

Day 12: Finding Self-compassion in the Reflection of Others

"Letting go is a vital part of making way for new opportunities. What gifts have you found in the process of letting go? How can you celebrate those gifts today?"

This question hit an emotional spot. In 2006 we said our final goodbyes to my Dad who was taken by lung cancer and made his peaceful transition in July. Letting him go was heartbreaking, but it brought me and Mom even closer together than we had been before. It led to me stepping up as the oldest daughter and becoming Mom's caregiver. She moved in with me and together we moved forward. I was there to hold her when she cried, and I was there during her first near deaths and intubations. We held tight to each other, and to my younger son Drew who was a teenager at the time.

One year ago on December 19th I had to say a very difficult emotional goodbye to my Mom. After Dad, a part of her didn't want to keep living; we all recognized this. Her health declined and yet she couldn't force herself to take control of her illnesses by taking care of herself. Mom struggled with COPD, Congestive Heart Failure, and uncontrolled Diabetes for six years. She had been intubated over a dozen times in those six years, but always pulled through, until Thanksgiving 2012. Immediately after our family dinner, she went into another episode, but this time she never recovered. She remained on life support for nearly a month until the doctors informed us she would never be able to get off the respirator. As her Power of Attorney it was my call to make, but I involved my sister and my sons (we all knew her wishes); so it was a family decision but I was the one to inform the doctor of our decision and to set the date. Although she was kept heavily sedated, her transition was not peaceful like Dad's. Her body struggled for a few hours after we took her off life support; it was awful and I think it will haunt me for the rest of my days. It was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, but as horrible and painful as it was, it did come with unexpected gifts.

As Mom's Executor of her estate, I had to remain calm and strong to carry out everything that needed to be done. I think that is probably what kept me going. In this process I learned and grew, becoming stronger and more independent. I faced some harsh realities, and a determination to survive and keep going was born. I am stronger because of these experiences, but I still struggle with the heartache.

A few short months later, my sister had to move away. It felt like just yesterday that I was packing up all Mom's belongings and there I was packing up my sister's too. In August we said our farewells and I felt like I was losing my sister along with my Mom. It was difficult for both of us. My determination and positive attitude really kicked in to help pull this last minute move together and get it done, while trying to help my sister see the positive side. It sure hurt to see her go though. I think this goodbye was another strength builder... for both of us.

Change is often hard, but I believe it is for our higher good.

Day 13: Ways to Change Your Mind With Compassion

"How can you love yourself more by raising awareness?"

The lesson for this day was to practice assertiveness and raise awareness in others helps them reflect on their behavior, as well as help me to love myself and stand up for myself in a positive way. Being assertive in this way has  always been a struggle. I tend to stuff my feelings rather than defend myself. Defending myself seems too confrontational and I hate conflict; I'm a peacemaker. Learning to be assertive in this manner will take some practice; even right now my self-talk is telling me "no."

This lesson also included an introductory to Emotion Freedom Technique for Self-Compassion (EFT). I learned EFT a few years ago to help with my headaches, but this method is to aid in self-compassion. Basically, you tap points of your head and face while saying a positive affirmation, such as "I love and accept myself." You can learn more about EFT here.

Day 14: Are You Taking Care of Yourself?

"Do you feel that your needs are being met in all areas? [Physical, Mental, Spiritual & Emotional]  ...What do you need to add to your life so that your needs are met?"

This question reminds me that living the life of a recluse has its downfalls; I sometimes feel lonely, so I'd have to say that my emotional needs are not always met. As for my physical needs, that is a HUGE negative.  I need some kind of exercise, but because of my health problems and my laziness, exercise is a great big turn off. I don't like it, it triggers my COPD and my back problems, and I avoid it. Spiritually, off an on. I need better self-discipline in this area, and Mentally, is a yes; I work on my mental well-being daily; I have to in order to beat the gloomies and stress.

Day 15: Compassion For Your Whole Self

"Are you able to feel compassion for your past?"

Mostly I look back with regret, but I'm learning to recognize that I was working through some serious issues and did the best I could at the time with my lack of coping skills. If I really want to be frank about it, I know that the past happened for a reason and there really is no purpose in me damning myself for something that ultimately played an important role in my life as well as the lives of others. I believe everything happens for a reason for a divine purpose, but I still need to work on my self-forgiveness regarding my past. I can't help but view my old self with disgust, heartache, and guilt.

Day 16: Your Feelings Are A Miracle

"What sensations do I notice in my body right now?"

Well considering I'm still fighting off this virus that I have, I will start with the obvious and my my way down from there. (1) I'm quite disgusted with this nagging cough and my throat is feeling a bit raw from all the hacking, (2) I'm currently experiencing a hot flash (sigh), (3) my foot has gone to sleep and my left should is aching so I need to change positions, (4) I'm rather enjoying these questions to help me delve into my thoughts, (5) I am proud of the steps I have taken and the progress I have made in my life, and (6) my stomach is reminding me it is past my dinner time and I need to eat, and with that I bid you adieu.

Day 6 - 10 of Self-Compassion 101

I have been sick and have fallen even further behind! Ugh! I'm combining posts to catch up. I know long blogs tend to discourage readers, but I feel like it's the only way to keep up right now. I will keep each segment short though.

Day 6: The Quest of a Passion Filled Life- Inner Child Work

"What was your child-self doing when you happened upon her? What was making her giggle? When was the last time you engaged in this same activity? Maybe it is time you did."

When I went inward seeking my inner child I found her coloring on the floor. She was concentrating very hard at her task and choosing her colors with care, as well as being oh-so-careful to outline her coloring before filling it in to make it look just right. After completing her masterpiece she held it up with a hopeful grin and bright eyes as she exclaimed, "Look what I made!" She was proud and wanted to share, as well as wanted my approval.

Finding my inner child deeply consumed in this task was not a surprise, as it was one of my favorite things to do growing up, and still is, although crayons and markers have evolved into pencil, watercolor, and more recently Microsoft Paint, but I will still brake out the crayons and color with my grandkids.

Art is my therapy as well as a favorite pastime; I still indulge in it, and I still like to share my work. I enjoy giving it as a gift, as well as creating positive messages with them to share some positivity with the world. Maybe I do so because I'm pleased with how something turns out, or maybe I am still seeking approval, but also because I want to somehow make a positive difference in the world.

Day 7: Validation Intervention- Examination

"When you do something exciting, is it your first reaction to share it on social media?"

Well, yes. Public media is my way of staying in touch with friends and family that I do not see or talk to on a regular basis. Is this a need for validation? Well honestly, I suppose it could be in part, maybe? But my first reaction is to to share for the simple act of updating my friends and family as to what is happening in my life. 

I don't view my sharing as seeking approval or trying to fit in. I have never felt like I fit in, and that's ok. I remain me. If people don't like me, that's their prerogative. I'm not here to fit in; I'm here to be the best me that I know how to be.

Day 8: When Life Feels Unrecognizable

"What things do I notice throughout my day that feel good in the moment?"

I have noticed that I get the most pleasure out of my day when I help someone in some way. It could be something as minor as assisting in proof reading at work, opening a door for someone, or helping to find an answer to a question. I like helping people and knowing that I can make a positive difference in someone's day, no matter how small.

I wasn't always like this though, and maybe that's why I enjoy it so much now. Growing up I was a self involved problem child, so absorbed in my own problems that I didn't take time out to recognize the struggles of my family and sometimes my friends. It was all about me and trying to make sense of my pain and feelings of confusion, fear, and displacement. My Mom said I was born angry at the world and was determined to make everyone as miserable as me. I was a child, confused and lost. I didn't want to be miserable; I just didn't know how to fix it, nor could I control my emotions.

Things didn't begin making sense to me until my late 30's and that was through my need to examine myself for the purpose of improving and growing.  So basically, I have turned a 180. My strong will lead to my pursuit to fight the depression and anxiety, which led me to the here and now, wanting to share and help others.

Day 9: Moving Forward with Self-Compassion

"What are some of the things in my life that show that I am moving forward? What can I put on  a list to help me recognize or remember all the things that I am accomplishing in a day?

Well, for starters, (1) the fact that I still participate in self-help courses to learn and grow. It seems to be I am ever looking to evolve into a better understanding of myself, which is good in my opinion (2) learning to trust my intuition, (3) helping others, (4) striving to stay positive even when life is difficult, (5) learning not to be so hard on myself, (6) how I recognize that I need cheering up and treat myself to something fun like going to the movies, and (7) learning positive self-talk to calm myself down.

Day 10: Is Anyone Home?

Today's exercise was mediation. I was encouraged to sit quietly and just be, then afterwards note the experience. I still struggle with this type of meditation; my thoughts run rampant and it's hard not to linger on one or more. However Becky gave some encouraging advice as to mediation; she said: 

"If you had difficulty, that’s cool. No judgment, please. Over time you’ll find that none of it is really important. What you learn as you sit in meditation is that there is really no end to your thoughts, what comes up now will come up later. The practice is in the sitting through it all, through the tears, the laughter, the pain. Stuff will come up and it will not kill you. Just sit, notice, acknowledge – and watch it float on by."

That concludes days 6-10, and now I'd like to leave you with this quote I found and love! I couldn't agree more!

Day 5: What Does Inner Self-Compassion Sound Like?

On day 5 of the Self-Compassion 101 e-course I was encouraged to investigate my inner self-trust and self-compassion.

What does my Self-Compassion sound like? 

What a strange question: what does self-compassion sound like. I can tell you what I see, but how do I explain what is sounds like? Perhaps it means what does self-compassion mean to me?

When I picture my self-compassion I see a little girl, with big soulful eyes wanting to make everyone happy. She puts everyone else's needs and feelings before her own. She is loving, compassionate, and very sensitive. She's happy to help and eager to share, and sometimes... she gets the poor-me's and tends to pout.

It's funny, because this inner child that I see is opposite of the child I used to be. I wonder what that means? This may require further exploration.

The adult me sees myself as a good, compassionate, and responsible person. I will reward myself by indulging in a good movie or an ice cream. I will also cheer myself up in the same manner when I am feeling down. This is my way of being kind and loving to myself.

Self-compassion comes from self-love; it is accepting who you are and being gentle on yourself. It is recognizing that you are only human and mistakes are ok. Self-compassion is forgiving yourself, treating yourself, taking care of yourself, and being kind to yourself. Self-compassion is showing yourself the same compassion you show others.

Where does Self-Compassion live?

Quite simply, self-compassion lives in my soul; it dwells in my heart and the core of my being. I don't know how else to describe it.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having compassion for yourself, quite the opposite in fact. You should appreciate yourself and be grateful for you. Show yourself self-compassion; you are worth it!

Day 4: My Purpose

On day 4 of the Self-Compassion 101 ecourse I learned to explore how to trust myself, love myself, be myself, and recognize my true purpose.

"What do you feel deeply called to do in this life?"

Actually this was an easy question: I am deeply drawn to win the battle of depression and anxiety and to help others along the way. I want to do this by sharing my personal experiences, sharing resources, sharing my personal coping tools as well as ones I may discover elsewhere, promoting positive affirmations, and sharing my art.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life and believe very strongly that my life purpose is to defeat it. I am determined to win this battle, and if I can help other people along the way, well...that would be awesome! I would love to make a positive difference in people's lives! 

Speaking of sharing my art, here are some recent pieces I created using Microsoft Paint. I am having tons of fun with Paint; its been my medium of choice lately. 

Day 3: Finding My Voice

On day 3 of the Self-Compassion 101 e-course I was encouraged to evaluate my self-talk, you know that little voice inside your head that constantly judges you and makes you second guess yourself?

"Make a list of times or situations when you find that you compare yourself to others. Think of a short affirmation you could tell yourself when this happens."

I actually do this often, especially when it pertains to physique and artistic talent. I find myself thinking: "I wish I had her figure and stamina"  or "I wish I could paint like that!"  The fact of the matter is, I am who and what I am. I was born with particular challenges, talents, and gifts for a purpose in accordance with this life's purpose; I know this, and I have made great strides in accepting Me, but every now and then that ugly little voice chimes in and makes me question my worth.

Well, pooh on you, little mean girl! Shoo! [mentally flicks tiny mean girl off shoulder and watches as she flies across the room]. Now with that being done, I have come up with the following not-so-short affirmation:

"I AM Enough. I love and accept myself fully, right now. I AM beautiful. I AM talented. I love me!"

I may not be everything I want to be, but I am everything I am meant to be right now at this present time, and that is all that truly matters. 

Self Compassion E-Course: Days 1 - 2

I recently signed up for a free e-course: Self Compassion 101. As you  know I am a believer in finding ways to add more positive into your life. One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to learn how to love and accept yourself. This e-course is perfect for strengthening your self-love and self-compassion! If this is something you would like to participate in, I encourage you to sign up here.

I am having difficulty prioritizing my down time, so I've fallen behind and playing catch up; therefore I am combining the daily lessons in my posts.  The e-course recommends a daily journal, but I have always struggled with daily routine outside of my jobs. When I have down time, I like to veg, and journaling is just not on my veg list LOL

Before I continue, I want to point out that although I may be sharing my progress in the e-course, there is much more available than what I am sharing here. My posts may contain hints of what is in the e-course, but there is much more, and out of respect I will not be sharing details. Becky has done an excellent job at putting this e-course together, and I want to encourage more people to participate by signing up for her course! She has great articles that inspire and encourage, as well as some thought provoking material, and links to other resources.

Day One 

(1) I was encouraged to think about what parts of myself do I constantly try to hide or change, why, and if I could see any possible positive factor or hidden gift in the these areas. Well the first thing that popped into my head was my weight, which is a constant struggle and frustration. Is there a hidden gift related to this struggle? Hmm it sometimes makes me more conscious as to what I am putting into my body, as well as the possible risk factors of not minding my eating: diabetes, and heart/artery disease, as well as the wear and tear on my knees, ankles, and feet from carrying the extra pounds. When I am being health conscious, this is a gift, but when I choose to ignore it... well, not so much; it is a self defeating behavior.

The second thing is my dark side. Yes, I admit that I have a dark side; we all do! My dark side includes negative self talk, pessimism, self defeating behaviors, stubbornness, jealousy, insecurity, and a bad temper if I let things build up for too long, my reclusive nature, and the ability go within myself. My dark side is most definitely is a gift, do you know why? Because it has led me to seeking inside myself and making the choice to change my life by changing my attitude (but you knew that was coming, didn't you?), but my dark side is also the thing that makes me strong. For example: (I) I am so stubborn, that once I make up my mind to do something, I do it. The thing is, is to use this aspect towards good choices, not negative ones! (II) My temper... which if used towards something other than destruction and mayhem can be a good thing; it makes for a great housecleaning motivator LOL as well as a good backbone-finder, and determination motivator, as long as I keep it under control. (III) My reclusive nature allows me to re-energize, search myself, and seek Me-Time; it enables me to pamper myself, as well as explore myself and spirituality.

I delved into my dark side years ago as another tool to accept myself, and by doing so I recognized areas that I needed to understand, and areas that could be beneficial if focused properly. My dark side is part of who and what I am. My choice to accept my Darkness along with my Light, aided my efforts to improve myself, and those efforts lead to growth, and positive change, so yay for me!

My dark side however, is also part of my depression and anxiety. As you know (if you have been following my posts) I have been working very hard on turning my negative thoughts around and being a more positive person, as well as encouraging others to do the same. Your attitude really does matter! As I am constantly preaching: what you put out, you get back, and I don't know about you, but I want more positive in my life, and I want to win my war against depression an anxiety, so there you have it. I choose Positive and Happiness!


(2) I was encouraged to make positive I AM statements, which led to the recognition that I have experienced growth in the last few years! I have been working on myself for several years now, and through this exercise I was able to recognize that I have come a long way from the person I used to be. Some of my I AM statements included: compassionate, artistic, adaptable, encouraging, honest, good, dependable, positive, strong, independent, determined, and self-sufficient. A few years ago, the words strong, positive, independent, determined, and self-sufficient were not on my list.  I saw myself as weak, co-dependent, and unable to support myself. Wow, the growth in six years! How encouraging is that! It makes me wonder what growth I will experience in the next few years.

Day Two

Day two encouraged me to look at how I show compassion with others vs. myself and ways that I can work on self-compassion. I can't tell you how many times I have put the happiness of others before myself, or have forgiven others but beat myself up over the most trivial things! I am my own worst enemy. Why can't I show myself the same compassion and forgiveness? Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I dwell on my past mistakes as well as my minor little glitches? Why do I feel the need to cuss myself and tear myself down? 

I can see this lesson is going to take more work!  I will begin with a promise to not take myself so seriously, and forgive my mistakes. I am only human after all! 

Holiday Blues: Halloween and Onward

Halloween/Samhain was rough this year. I knew it would be but I wasn't expecting several days of mourning. I'm guessing it was a combination of honoring Mom along with Dad this year and knowing that the anniversary of Mom's passing is just around the corner. Her last ICU visit immediately followed our family Thanksgiving dinner last year, which led to her passing on December 19th. I can't believe it's been a year already; the realization hit me so hard that although I did honor her,  I couldn't honor her in the way I wanted to, but I know that she knew my heart and my intention.

I decorated their shrine for Autumn with just a touch of Halloween and was pleased with the result.

The Halloween items have since been removed, leaving it very appropriate for November.

Coping Methods for the Holiday Blues

• Count Your Blessings. I've been doing this daily, and it really does help chase the blues away!
• Spend Time in Nature:  I've been taking nature photos to remind me of the blessings all around me. Nature is a great healer! I encourage you to take walks, snap photos, and enjoy the peace and beauty around you.
• Community Service: This Thanksgiving, I am volunteering at the local community Thanksgiving Dinner, but there are many ways you can give back to the community: volunteer at your local soup kitchen, food bank, or volunteer for story time at your local library or children's hospital, etc.
• Secret Santa: pick one (or more) people to secretly gift at Christmas/Yule, or maybe an entire family. This is great fun!
• Angel Tree: Make a child's Christmas and pick an angle off your local Angel Tree and donate the requested item. Doing this feels awesome!
• Create a holiday altar for your lost loved one(s), complete with candle and photo. I keep an altar year round; it's my way of remembering and honoring my parents, and yes... I talk to them, and cry. Crying is part of the healing process and perfectly normal, so don't worry about allowing yourself to grieve.
• Take care of yourself: meditate, do yoga, exercise, etc
• Pamper Yourself: take yourself to a movie, have a spa day, have a nice dinner out, buy yourself a present. You are worth it and deserve your love and appreciation!
• Decorate: Making your house festive for the holidays is a great mood lifter. If you have the house all to yourself, decorate anyway!
• Treat your Neighbors or Co-Workers: bake up some pumpkin bread or other holiday treats to give your neighbors and/or co-workers. Of course if you are like me and hate to cook, store bought goodies work, too!
• Counseling: don't be afraid to seek professional help if you need to

These are some of my photos, which were actually part of a recent project for Inner Goddess Revolutionaries). This project has helped me see the beauty all around me on a daily basis; it helped me move my thoughts from the depressing to the uplifting.

The holidays can be difficult, but stay positive, find uplifting activities to keep you busy, and practice giving. Giving back is an amazing experience! So chase those blues away and choose to make each day a good day!

Empowerment Through Self Gratitude and Sekhmet

This month we are working with Sekhmet in Soul Path Tribe. One of my recently completed assignments or challenges was quite emotional and empowering, so I though I would encourage you to give it go, too.

Write a gratitude letter to yourself. Do some soul searching and ask yourself what personal strengths, accomplishments, and attributes have helped you or others, have made a positive difference in your life for or someone else's, what is it about you that helps you get past your challenges, what are you secretly proud of? Write it all in a letter addressed to YOU expressing gratitude to YOU.

After completing your letter, take note of your emotions. How did this make you feel about yourself? Did it empower you, or free you? Did it bring you self acceptance and/or self love? Did it awaken something inside you? How did writing this letter effect your life?

Sekhmet

To assist me in connecting to Sekhmet I sketched this Mountain Lion, thinking maybe I would paint it, but that hasn't happened as of yet. Right now, I seem to be satisfied with the sketch, but when the mood strikes. I might just break out the watercolors!

For anyone that is not familiar with Sekhmet, she is a lion-headed Egyptian Goddess, a warrior, protector and healer with fierce self-confidence and determination. Sekhmet is depicted with the face of an African Lion, but being as I connect more with Mountain Lions, I chose the Mountain Lion as my personal depiction of Sekhmet.

Painting, Writing, and Journaling, Oh My!

I've been extremely busy lately, and my blog has fallen to the wayside as a result. So much has been happening! (1) my article for Soul Path Magazine was published this month (2) I've been working on weekly challenges with my Inner Goddess Revolutionaries group (3) I've been working on additional art projects with other inspiring artists at Hawk's Art Projects (4) I joined Soul Path Tribe and have been journaling and working on my monthly steps for October, and (5) I still work both my jobs and occasionally babysit my grandkids while battling the gloomies.

Yep depression has been attempting a comeback, BUT although I do have my "down" days, I haven't sunk into a full blown depression, thanks to my artwork, which continues to be great therapy, and of course staying busy helps keep the negative thoughts away, too!

 I thought I would share my recent works with you:

Project from Inner Goddess Revolutionaries

I AM, the challenge was to create an I AM statement to aide in embracing my inner goddess using any medium of our choice; I chose watercolors, of course and opted to do a multi-color self-portrait with my I AM statement, and here is the result:

Hawk's Art Projects

We've done three projects thus far (1) a representation of the Element Water (2) create a tarot card for Samhain (3) our patron deity, and our most recent, (4) a representation of our life purpose:

Medium: Markers and Pens

 I incorporated my Raven Woman painting and a Microsoft Word template to create my tarot card. I chose the High Priestess, mainly because I thought Raven Woman fits this card well and it's a great card for Samhain. The text at the bottom of the card says: 

"Open yourself to the Mysteries. Use your intuition and let your inner voice guide you."

My Patron: Gaia

Medium: Watercolor

Life Purpose 

My life purpose is overcoming depression and being happy; 

this depicts me rising from the darkness. 

Medium: Watercolor

Side Projects

Watercolor: African American Woman

 Watercolor and Marker: Experiment

 Watercolor: Raven Woman

Watercolor: Redhead

 Watercolor: My Cat, Tigger

Watercolor: Amethyst Woman

Walking Alone

Yesterday, in a moment of inspiration, I posted something on my Positive Warfare fb page, straight from my heart.  The more I read it the more I liked it, so much in fact, that I chose to add it to a pic of one of my sunflower paintings.

Why do I like it so much? Well, I'm a recluse, in a few different ways: (1) I'm single and don't date (2) I'm a homebody; when I'm not working, I mostly stay to myself, at home (2) my spiritual path and current circumstances led me to being a Solitary.

For some odd reason when I confess to (1) not having a social life, and (2) not dating and having no interest in dating or finding a partner, people just don't understand; they think I'm weird and some actually try to argue that I need a man in my life, and to convince me that I need to to date. My question is why? I'm happy being single and free from the complications of dating and/or a relationship. This is a personal choice for me; this is the path I have chosen and I would do it all over again. I am truly happy. 

This is a reminder that just because a person travels a different path, does not mean the path is wrong, or that the person is lost. Don't worry about what people may think of your path, do what is right for YOU. Be true to yourself.

Low Energy Days

"Low Energy Me"

Do you ever feel like you have just been drained of all energy? Today is that kind of day today; I feel sooo tired. I have often wondered what causes my low energy days. I got a decent amount of sleep last night, so you would think that I wouldn't be so darn tired. Granted, I do have health issues that sometimes causes fatigue, as well as depression that comes and goes (right now its on LOL), so this could be what is contributing to my lack of energy... and my diet; let's be honest here, I try to eat healthy but often slide back into the not so healthy pattern.

Other factors that may contribute to a lack of energy are: 

High Sugar Diet (sweets, pasta, bread, potatoes etc, including your energy drinks!) Carbohydrates turns to sugar, and too much sugar leads to insulin resistance, leading to Type 2 diabetes. Did you know that when you have too much sugar in your body, it thickens your blood to the consistency of ketchup, constricting your blood flow to and from your heart,  and damaging your arteries and your heart! ...and those energy drinks that some people are so fond of, are poison to your body; they are not healthy for you at all! Sure, they contain Vitamin B and Ginseng, but they also contain huge amounts of sugar and caffeine, as well as Taurine and Guarana. Our body naturally produces Taurine which helps regulate the heart, muscle contractions, and energy levels. It only makes sense that if you have too much Taurine in your system, it is going to cause irregularities. Guarana is even more dense in caffeine than coffee beans, which brings us to the second factor of low energy...

Too Much Caffeine Yep your endless coffee cup is a factor in your low energy days. Sorry guys, but too much coffee stresses and slows your adrenaline gland which in turn causes hormone depletion, which leads to fatigue.

A Fatty Diet We all know a fatty diet is bad for us. Too much fat equals high cholesterol, which leads to clogged arteries, heart disease, and strokes, but also fatigue because it causes our body to work harder, causing stress on our heart and lungs, which wears us down.

Lack of Exercise It is recommended that we exercise at least 30 minutes everyday, but even if we can manage 10 minutes each day, it's a plus! By exercise, it doesn't necessarily mean strenuous activity; take a walk, do yoga, do chair exercises, or go for a swim, just get your body moving! I'm blessed in this area because where I work, we have a diabetes program which includes an on-the-clock exercise program every day for 30 minutes. I don't always make it every day, but I also walk a little at work. My office sits 50 ft or more between two other buildings, which requires me to walk to the neighboring buildings to conduct job related duties. So I can honestly say, I get some sort of exercise 4/7 days.

Magnesium Deficiency our body needs magnesium to function properly. It aids in the healthy functioning of our muscles, heart, nerves, immune system, and strong bones, so if we are low on magnesium, our body feels depleted and fatigued.

Stress, Depression and/or Insomnia I lumped these three together because they tend to go hand-in-hand, and all three can factor in with fatigue.

Thyroid Disorder such as Hashimoto Disease (an autoimmune disease that attacks your thyroid), Hypothyroidism (low thyroid) and Hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid). The thyroid regulates all your body functions. If your thyroid is out of whack, it throws off the hormones needed to regulate your heart, lungs, mood, skin, hair, eyes, reproductive system, bones, muscles, cholesterol, weight, and your energy.

Other health conditions such as Fybromalysia, Crohn's Disease, Adrenal Fatigue, etc also can cause fatigue. If  you are experiencing out of the ordinary ongoing fatigue, please see your doctor.

Remedies: 

(1) whole wheat products in moderation (2) get moving! (3) limit your coffee to no more than three 12 oz cups a day (4) Eat 1 oz of nuts per day, such as unsalted natural almonds, walnuts, and Pistachios, but don't eat them in excess; moderation is the key! (4) drink more water! (5) incorporate Edamame (green soy beans), fresh Kale, Spinach, Kidney Beans, fruit (in moderation), and baked Halibit into your diet. If you are a woman, you should include iron rich foods into your diet as well, just because women are prone to anemia during menstrual years (6) stay away from fried, fatty, and salty foods (7) meditate; it not only calms your body and clears your head, it also increases your energy (8) aromatherapy with essential oils such as peppermint, lemon, and mandarin orange also helps combat fatigue.

Videos:

Don't Forget to Smile!

The Path to Self Discovery and Growth

The decision to change, to improve upon yourself, is momentous! If you have made the decision to begin such a journey, congrats, I applaud you! Whether you have been on this path for awhile, or you are brand new in the venture, just keep going. It is a life long journey beginning with the day of your initial decision, not something that you will complete within the year. It's a challenge that takes years of dedication and work; it will not happen over night, but it will happen. Your path will be long and rocky, and you might find yourself occasionally slipping backwards, but keep climbing that hill! You CAN DO IT, and the results are SO worth the effort!

I first made the conscious decision to embark on my journey, ohhh around 1996 or thereabouts. What prompted my decision? Well truthfully, I didn't like myself, nor did I like life. I was not a happy person, depression had a strong hold on me, and life was a real struggle.  I always felt like I never fit in; I just didn't belong, and I wanted nothing to do with my current life. It was like I fought against it every step of the way but I had no clue as to the reason why. I was confused, angry, and lost from birth to early thirties. It was not a nice place to be, and eventually... well, I got tired of it. Here I am 17 or so years later, and although I've made huge progress, I am still working towards my goal. I still struggle now and then, but wow, the changes I have made; positive changes that not only I have noticed, but other people have noticed too, and if I can do it, so can you!

Where do you start? Self help books (preferably with work book companions or work sessions inside them to aide you in really getting to know yourself), guided meditations, journaling, making Wish Boards, do more of the things you love whenever possible, and... you KNOW what I'm going to say next, don't you... positive affirmations! You can also do counseling if your budget will allow and it is something you would like to try.

Book Examples:

What is a Wish Board?

A Wish Board or Vision Board is a collection of images (a collage) made with a specific intention, to attract certain things into your life. Decide what you want to attract into your life, or what goal you want to achieve, then collect magazine clippings and/or photos that represent your intention as well as a photo of yourself. Arrange the clippings and photos on your board the way you want them, then glue them in place, but make sure you leave space to add quotes, words/phases, and positive affirmations, etc. Once it's finished, hang it someplace you can see it everyday. Make a point to view your board each day, truly focusing your intention on it, while reading/saying your affirmations out loud. Other suggested materials include: markers, scrapbook materials, scissors, and hodge podge glue.