Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Self Compassion E-Course: Days 1 - 2

I recently signed up for a free e-course: Self Compassion 101. As you  know I am a believer in finding ways to add more positive into your life. One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to learn how to love and accept yourself. This e-course is perfect for strengthening your self-love and self-compassion! If this is something you would like to participate in, I encourage you to sign up here.

I am having difficulty prioritizing my down time, so I've fallen behind and playing catch up; therefore I am combining the daily lessons in my posts.  The e-course recommends a daily journal, but I have always struggled with daily routine outside of my jobs. When I have down time, I like to veg, and journaling is just not on my veg list LOL

Before I continue, I want to point out that although I may be sharing my progress in the e-course, there is much more available than what I am sharing here. My posts may contain hints of what is in the e-course, but there is much more, and out of respect I will not be sharing details. Becky has done an excellent job at putting this e-course together, and I want to encourage more people to participate by signing up for her course! She has great articles that inspire and encourage, as well as some thought provoking material, and links to other resources.

Day One 

(1) I was encouraged to think about what parts of myself do I constantly try to hide or change, why, and if I could see any possible positive factor or hidden gift in the these areas. Well the first thing that popped into my head was my weight, which is a constant struggle and frustration. Is there a hidden gift related to this struggle? Hmm it sometimes makes me more conscious as to what I am putting into my body, as well as the possible risk factors of not minding my eating: diabetes, and heart/artery disease, as well as the wear and tear on my knees, ankles, and feet from carrying the extra pounds. When I am being health conscious, this is a gift, but when I choose to ignore it... well, not so much; it is a self defeating behavior.

The second thing is my dark side. Yes, I admit that I have a dark side; we all do! My dark side includes negative self talk, pessimism, self defeating behaviors, stubbornness, jealousy, insecurity, and a bad temper if I let things build up for too long, my reclusive nature, and the ability go within myself. My dark side is most definitely is a gift, do you know why? Because it has led me to seeking inside myself and making the choice to change my life by changing my attitude (but you knew that was coming, didn't you?), but my dark side is also the thing that makes me strong. For example: (I) I am so stubborn, that once I make up my mind to do something, I do it. The thing is, is to use this aspect towards good choices, not negative ones! (II) My temper... which if used towards something other than destruction and mayhem can be a good thing; it makes for a great housecleaning motivator LOL as well as a good backbone-finder, and determination motivator, as long as I keep it under control. (III) My reclusive nature allows me to re-energize, search myself, and seek Me-Time; it enables me to pamper myself, as well as explore myself and spirituality.

I delved into my dark side years ago as another tool to accept myself, and by doing so I recognized areas that I needed to understand, and areas that could be beneficial if focused properly. My dark side is part of who and what I am. My choice to accept my Darkness along with my Light, aided my efforts to improve myself, and those efforts lead to growth, and positive change, so yay for me!

My dark side however, is also part of my depression and anxiety. As you know (if you have been following my posts) I have been working very hard on turning my negative thoughts around and being a more positive person, as well as encouraging others to do the same. Your attitude really does matter! As I am constantly preaching: what you put out, you get back, and I don't know about you, but I want more positive in my life, and I want to win my war against depression an anxiety, so there you have it. I choose Positive and Happiness!

(2) I was encouraged to make positive I AM statements, which led to the recognition that I have experienced growth in the last few years! I have been working on myself for several years now, and through this exercise I was able to recognize that I have come a long way from the person I used to be. Some of my I AM statements included: compassionate, artistic, adaptable, encouraging, honest, good, dependable, positive, strong, independent, determined, and self-sufficient. A few years ago, the words strong, positive, independent, determined, and self-sufficient were not on my list.  I saw myself as weak, co-dependent, and unable to support myself. Wow, the growth in six years! How encouraging is that! It makes me wonder what growth I will experience in the next few years.

Day Two

Day two encouraged me to look at how I show compassion with others vs. myself and ways that I can work on self-compassion. I can't tell you how many times I have put the happiness of others before myself, or have forgiven others but beat myself up over the most trivial things! I am my own worst enemy. Why can't I show myself the same compassion and forgiveness? Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I dwell on my past mistakes as well as my minor little glitches? Why do I feel the need to cuss myself and tear myself down? 

I can see this lesson is going to take more work!  I will begin with a promise to not take myself so seriously, and forgive my mistakes. I am only human after all! 

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